Training 3
(Page 1,
Page 2, Page 3, Page 4)
From: "Jane Allen" <jane_allen@my-deja.com>
Sent: Sunday, October 08, 2000 8:27 AM
Subject: Re: To any reasonable Scientologists
Jane Allen (Sept 30) > > > I was trying to get the auditors to skip
ahead, but they wouldn't and I was getting nowhere with their low level methods.
Freddie (Sept 30) > > One thing I've learned
in my auditing is that it's very important to say exactly what I think about
something. Tell them that you're a scoffer but you want to be shown something
special!
Jane Allen (Oct 8)> I tried to get the auditors
to skip ahead, but they wouldn't.
> Let me know if you need anything else cleared up.
Alright Jane.
My supposition is that the "low level" of what you were doing wasn't the problem. As far as I can make out, you weren't willing to tell the
staff what you were thinking about and so you couldn't make any gains in your
auditing.
As you said before:
JA (Sept 30)>>> I was audited and sec checked and was able
to fool them into thinking some progress had been achieved.
Leaving aside the fact that new people wouldn't
normally be sec checked, it's quite clear that you didn't trust the staff enough to tell them how you really
felt, and about what you had read on the internet.
Maybe this doesn't seem important to you, but I assure you that it is.
Also I'm not quite clear about the sequence of your services. As far as I can make out, you started out with a Dianetics seminar; then you had some
auditing in which you believe you were able to fool the auditors into thinking
some progress was being made, but not sufficiently for them to move you onto any
higher level services. You then 'switched to an exclusive diet of "Out-Tech" or "Black PR".' After that you went back to the
org; however you didn't talk about the stuff you'd seen on the internet but instead did a basic TRs course over the top of the out-tech and black PR. You did state that,
"I concede that I may have been misinformed about the routines I was
attempting."
As an example of just that point, the idea about not blinking for a long period
of time has not been (IMO as I don't have the references to hand) a part of any TRs course for about 16 years.
Going back to your query at the start of this letter. Maybe I wasn't clear
enough in my answer of 30 September (shaking my head dolefully once more). You
had written on the same date that you were a scoffer but secretly wanted to be
shown something special. The reason I suggested it might have been a good idea
to ~tell~ this to the person auditing you, was that you were withholding that
idea.
Auditing just won't work in the presence of withholds. If you could have told
the auditor your ideas about being a scoffer, etc; then either it would have
cleared up for you, or you could have done some more stuff to look at those
various ideas that you were/are holding in your head about Scientology.
But it's not possible to just ignore the ideas, fool the auditor into thinking
you're making progress, and hope to be put on something else higher or more
prestigious. The thing that needed to be handled was the thing that you had your attention on.
Maybe the auditor ~did~ suspect something was wrong - particularly if you
were given a security check.
I don't really think that there is much else I can usefully say about this area.
And I'm basing my evaluation purely on what ~I've~ understood of what ~you've~
written and I may well have gotten it wrong.
If this post makes sense to you and you feel that there was something that you were withholding, you might feel some relief if you went in to
C.C. and told them about it - even if you never do any other services again. Don't worry about
upsetting them - they've heard everything. And I'm sure they'd be pleased. You
wouldn't need to get any auditing, just ask for an interview with the Director
of Processing and say that you'd like to talk about the auditing you had.
Despite being generally optimistic, I guess the chances of you doing that are
quite small; so instead I'll just wish you the best and hope you can get on with
your life and be happy.
Freddie T
